Know Nothing

Reflections on Therapy and Human Experience

Know Nothing

A woman with long, wavy hair wears a sleeveless rust-colored top, sitting outdoors near a potted plant with pink flowers.

Dr. Mona Kumar

Uncertainty is a most uncomfortable feeling for both clients and therapists alike. Clients want answers, and therapists want to provide. Both in and out of therapy, human beings are meaning-making organisms. We need the world to make sense, and when it doesn’t we feel lost and confused. So compulsive is this need that we will make sense of our experience using preexisting paradigms, even if inapplicable, rather than tolerate the discomfort of not knowing. The problem, however, is that when this dynamic gets reenacted in the therapeutic setting, we fail to serve the clients who come to us for help. In fact, by giving in to the pull to resolve confusion, we risk moving our clients further into it. After all, they already have a narrative, a story around which their identity is constructed, a set of organizing principles that inform their perception of the world around them. By moving too quickly to infer, elucidate, confirm, we often reinforce the very narratives that have become limiting and no longer applicable to their lives today. As therapists, we must approach the consultation hour with curiosity and openness. As tempting as it may be to believe that we know and understand, our clients are better served when we question first. By starting from a place of knowing nothing, so to speak, we give ourselves and our clients the opportunity to learn something they were not already aware of, to expand the parameters of their mental framework, and to make space for the entirety of their beings.

a photo of a wooden door on a house made of stone with a tree with a berry-like fruit. And a cat walking on the doorstep

Recent Posts

Unconditional Love

Unconditional Love

When most of us think about unconditional love, we believe that what we are seeking is someone who will love us no matter what. Someone who will see past our flaws, rejoice in our uniqueness, and accept us as we are. When we find someone who meets these criteria, for...

Quarantine and Loss of Community

Quarantine and Loss of Community

Among the many losses we are experiencing during this time is that of community. What we would ordinarily find at work, school, the gym, religious establishments, and so many other collectives has been suspended from our day to day lives. The result is a loss of the...

When Plans Go Awry

When Plans Go Awry

It can be painful when a plan does not go as one hoped. A lot of thought and preparation might have gone into it. There may have been an investment of time and effort, and a fantasy as to how the plan would unfold. How is one to make sense of the disappointment that...

Get Started Today

This is just placeholder text. Don’t be alarmed, this is just here to fill up space since your finalized copy isn’t ready yet. Once we have your content finalized, we’ll replace this placeholder text with your real content.

Accessibility Toolbar